The One You Need to Break Up With

And the greatest love story of your life that begins when you finally choose Her.

There is a He inside you.
Not a man,
but the masculine face of your own soul.

And there is a She inside you, too.
Your inner feminine.
The part of you that feels, creates, receives, dances with life and knows you and the truth of your soul.

Within you are the seeds of your greatest love affair,
between the part that protects
and the part that pulses with life.
Between the one who gets things done,
and the one who is the reason for doing it all.

This is the creation of self-love in its highest form-
a love affair between our Feminine and Masculine creative powers within.

Your inner masculine is your provider,
your protector,
and in his most sacred form,
your most devoted lover.

Because his true purpose is to serve life-
and life, in its deepest essence, is Her- your inner Feminine.

The one who feels.
The one who loves.
The one who longs to create.
The one who dances with the heartbeat of life
and pulses with sacred longing.

Together, they form a sacred marriage:
provision and desire,
power and poetry,
presence and pulse.

Together, they are the creative power couple that already lives within you
and is the source from which your creativity, your purpose, and a life that you love are born.

But, perhaps like you,
I didn’t grow up knowing this kind of inner love.

Many of us were taught that our worth had to be earned-
measured in output,
determined by who we pleased,
and proven by how little we asked for in return.

So the He inside me was not a champion.
He was a punisher.

But here’s what I’ve come to understand:
He was created- and provided for me- to protect me.

Only, this part of me did it the only way I knew-
by controlling, perfecting, pushing.
By using the shadow masculine tool of fear.

This is the shadow masculine inside of us that demands our perfection.
Dismisses our fears and tears.
Criticizes our vulnerability.
The part of us that turns our light into obligation.
And our gifts into grist for the mill.

This masculine side of us will feed us breadcrumbs,
and shame us for hungering for more.

So many of us were taught
to internalize a masculine
that believes we must be better to be safe,
and smaller to be loved.

Because so much of the world is built on that belief.

And I, not knowing better,
thought mine was safety.
That his punishment was love.

And I wore this low maintenance-over-functioning-badge-of-honor armor
until I couldn’t breathe in it anymore.

Until I heard Her voice,
soft but steady,
whisper: This is hurting me.

That’s when the breakup began.
Not loud or dramatic,
but a slow, sacred unwinding.

A healing of my dependence
on the push, the performance, the proving.

And a daily, devoted return to Her.

To desire.
To sensation.
To truth.
To the wild and radiant me
that He never afforded space for.

And in the space He once occupied,
a new He arrived.

My inner Masculine Champion.

Not with a roar,
but with quiet strength.
A steady presence
that approached my wary, wounded inner Feminine slowly.

Not to dominate Her,
but to devote to Her.
Not to force Her,
but to guide Her.
Not to exploit Her,
but to champion Her.
Not to shame Her,
but to cherish Her.

Because He too is a protector—
but one who provides with love, not fear.
One who supports, not punishes.
One who sees Her fullness as his reason,
not his threat.

He is the part of you who isn't afraid
of the wild, alive, feeling part of you- your inner Feminine.
He wants to feel all of Her.
Her emotions are His incentive.
Her desire, His direction.
Her radiance, His fuel.
Her gratitude, His reward.

And with this sacred reunion within,
I have been coming home.

Home to creating art that I love and that flows without force.
To rest without guilt.
To a life built on reverence for the whole of me-
my feelings,
my longing,
my knowing,
and my eros- my life force- moving through it all.

This is what it means to Create Her.

It’s not about finding someone to do this for you.
It’s about remembering the One already within ready to cherish you.

If you are tired of the voice that pushes, shames,
and never lets you relax and feel held,
She is waking up in you ready to be cherished.
And you are remembering what love should really feel like.

Love begins not when you find the right man,
but when you stop sacrificing yourself
to the wrong He inside you,
and choose, at last,
the one who builds your life in devotion to Her.

And that right man you long for?
She who knows Him, will recognize him.

Because as within, so without.