There Is Something Even More Intimate Than Being Seen and Understood

Something that feels even better than being understood.

Something freer, easier, truer.
It is to be felt.

I always believed that being seen ands understood was what I needed.
To have someone mirror back their approval of me in my truth,
to finally feel validated.

But being seen depends on their own sight.
Being understood depends on the understanding of their own mind.
Both depend on them-
their capacity, their filters, their truth.
And sometimes they cannot.
Or don’t want to.

But being felt is different.
Being felt does not require effort or explanation or to be mirrored.
It is heart touching heart.
Vibration that sinks deeper than the need for understanding
and moves like a current into the body.

Here is the beauty:
I don’t need to contort myself, convince, or perform to be felt.
I only need to stand in my feelings and truth-
alongside myself,
to feel my own heart fully,
and to validate what is real in me.

From that place, my very presence is felt.
And those in my life respond.
Not always in the way I might hope,
but in the way that reveals the landscape of their own heart,
and their own taste for intimacy.
Whether they have the capacity to meet me.
Whether they want to.

Think of the times you have worked so hard to be understood-
explaining, clarifying, translating-
and still they did not, or would not, get you.
How exhausting.
How lonely.

Freedom comes the moment you let go of the grasping.
It comes when you no longer work hard to explain until they get it because you don’t need them to.
It comes when you allow your truth to be enough.
It comes when you let life discern for you-and gently sift- who can meet you there from who cannot.

“Freedom comes the moment you release the burden of needing to be understood- when you allow your truth to be enough.”

The ones who have the capacity and desire to feel us, stay and deepen.
The ones who cannot, drift away.
And in that freedom, intimacy blooms
not because they see you,
not because they understand you,
but because you are feel-able to them.

And they feel you because you have become feel-able to yourself.

And here’s the grace: the freedom is mutual.
When we no longer demand to be understood or validated,
they are free too.
Because feeling us is not a request- they will feel us.
And without the weight of our need for their validation,
they are free to respond with the truth of who they are,
what they can give and what they desire.

This is the way intimacy becomes real.
This is the way love reveals itself.

This is the way of creationship.